Wednesday, April 9, 2008

if you talk to loud it might go away

sssssshhhhhhh.......quite...if you talk to loud it might go away

no big statements or strong beliefs

whisper…

just.let.it.be

my heart beat has risen to my throat and i know you feel it and you hold me tighter...buried into you until i might suffocate...i can’t even breath…it seems worth the risk at that moment...right then

and i'm a bit embarrassed...i swear you're not the first man to hold me...like that...well maybe

but i've thought that before so you should know I won't believe you all the way...but maybe I want too…maybe

and god damnit i'm fine without you...you should know that...i don't need you...i don't...so you don't have to be so nice and patient and giving and patient and giving and patient because i'm fine...seriously...i'm fine without you…and i don't know if you know this...but i'm fine without you


i like you but I’m good at take-backs…just test me…wait…

…don’t…

and i'm sorry i pushed you but you just got too close for a second...and you know you were...and you just stayed there in that moment...seemed like a fucking hour...and you did it on purpose...and i expected you to be gone when i finished...why did you stay??


guarded and torn down and pushed away and pulled into and holding you away from going inside every part of my being


whisper…

on the inside are my secrets

i won't speak them out loud

but when you kiss me i try to tell you

sometimes you open your eyes and i think you've heard

and it's weird for you to look at me that close...

for me too look at you that close

like you're seeing way deep down inside

and it should scare me

and it does

it fucking scares me


your stare from across the room can make me wet

sometimes just your voice over the phone

how do you do that???

don't ever stop

i mean...please...

please don't ever stop

and thank you...wait...at least so far...but i could take that back...i mean...just be gentle...except i really am fine without you

...stay...

...please...

i think

…maybe…

sshhhhhhhh...quite...if you talk too loud it might go away

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