Im feeling officially old

I'm feeling officially old...

mtv is too risque...short shorts and boots are slutty
calling in sick to work because i'm feeling a bit sick is not an option anymore...
recession...layoffs...bills...kids and teenagers that call me Ms. Melissa...

"Bob's house" sounds dreadful because of the next day hangover...new tires...living by a planner...and washing my face every day and night with expensive clinique products...googling aches and pains I've never had before to see what my diagnosis could be...knee aches when i run...

helping friends through miscarriages and divorces....loss of children...first time gray hairs...and Oh My God cellulite...on my ASS...awesome

shopping at express and banana republic...hair up and out of my face...and professional...ALWAYS mascara and lip stick...cussing is not as appealing...it sounds "trashy" and "unprofessional"...but it still FEELS so DAMN good to do it...checking the SPF in my makeup...boyfriend...serious boyfriend...talking future and travel plans and places to live and...

quickly cutting off thoughts of other men that pop into my head...strangling and choking out any desire to let my mind run wild...accepting the fact that this man could be the last man i ever kiss, touch, breath quitely and secretively with...and being thankful for that...

reading memoirs and the newspaper and coming of age books and post modern religous books...listening to podcast sermines while i exercise and going to conferences to learn about financial planning... adoption options...mammograms...and x rays...and heart tests...

stepping on a plane with no anxiety...because I have lived such a great and satisfying life so far...with all the hurt and mistakes...so many mistakes...and family drama and love drama...and work expriences and friendships...and travel...all over the world...

big panties and bras that are comfortable...showering everyday...putting pictures of my friend's babies up on facebook and framed on our refridgerater...dressing up Roscoe and thinking its the funniest thing i have EVER seen in my ENTIRE life...sitting with my friend's parents as their peers...stocks...and board game night...holidays are the only times the gang really gets together anymore...losing touch with her and him

looking at pictures at 22 and wondering where all that extra energy went...probably the same place my fake bleach blonde hair, leopard print pants, and my beer gut went...

listening to John Tesh and 94.5 because it doesn't play all that "rap music crap"

yeah...i'm feeling officially old