xmas 07- "Tiffany"

On my flight to Bama, I met “Tiffany,” –a little southern bell from Ozark. I felt her staring at me while I read, waiting to get on the plane. Like all true southern women, Tiffany did not care that I was reading, nor did she get the hint that I was not interested in any type of conversation—verbal or non-verbal. When I refused to accept her very clever attention giving body language, she became inpatient and jumped right in. I could already tell that Tiffany is used to getting people’s attention.

“HAY, I liiiike your boots”

“Thanks”

“Your hair is so pretty too”

“Thanks”

Aaaaaaaaaand silence…but the stare continued…

Once aboard, it was open seating. I could hear Tiffany’s voice coming down the very long isle of the very large plane. I stuck my head as far as I could into my book. I had even kept my sunglasses on all morning long and in the terminal as to avoid any eye contact with anything breathing; specifically all the “Tiffanys” that would be flying from Kentucky into southern alabama.

She was talking Alabama football and cooing at every baby she passed. I had to admit she was a crowd pleaser. People enjoyed her genuinely honey sweet accent with a hint of redneck and her big smile that she used to tease and generously hand out compliments to anyone making eye contact with her.

What happens next is inevitable. I had already accepted it when she told me she liked my boots.

“Can IIII sit here? You don’t mind do you?”

“Of course not”

I try to turn back to my book giving every polite sign that this early flight was not one in which I wanted to hear about her boyfriend or step-baby or grandma or where she was going or whether I thought Alabama was going to have a good season…but clearly, this did not matter to her.

“So I brought a People magazine. I bet you like those. You look like you would like this stuff. You look like a movie star with your big glasses and boots and your fancy hair. Where are you from? Why in the world are you going to Alabama? You don’t look like you’re from Alabama”

really…really?? I just wanted to read my book. I purchased this book over a month ago. I’ve been waiting to be on vacation where I could read this book guilt free without any late paperwork being held over my head that I should be doing instead.

I dodged and answered in the most polite way I could.

“Why thank you. I do enjoy People magazine. I grew up in Alabama and my grandparents live here so I’m spending the holidays with them this year. I’m actually from Lexington.”

“Lexington, KY??? Why I have some family in Lexington…”

of course you do, I thought, they probably live right next door to me...

she flips through her magazine, gasping for air in the most dramatic inhale I have ever heard, aside from my grandmother when she hears a movie star say “God damn.”

“Look, riiiiight here…it’s your book you’re reading. They say it’s a top 10 best seller. What is it about? Should I read it? Do you like it so far?”

Okay, from sizing up Tiffany thus far, I would say this: Tiffany would not be able to handle this book without it shaking the very core of everything she believes about God and the world and sucky people. I say this only because…I am a recovering-Tiffany.

“You know, it’s a hard book to read. You probably don’t want to read it over Christmas. It’s kind of sad and talks about life in a different country and how hard it is.”

“Yeah, it’s hard enough in my own life sometimes. I don’t think I would want to read something like that.”

There was some ignorant truth in this statement. I admired her for it a bit or maybe I was just jealous that she allowed herself to find peace in her naivety.

Tiffany, who is 26 years old, began telling me her life story, literally, which would be too long to explain, but we conversed to the point of talking about everything in her life to “why a pretty girl like me isn’t married” and how she used to like Brittany Spears but she doesn’t anymore because of her poor morals and the fact that she doesn’t even claim she is a Christian these days and “can you believe her little sister is pregnant? Bless her little heart.”

....and so forth and so on until the plane hit the ground ubrubptly and in the midst of our conversation and Tiffany proclaimed, "Well that never get's old now does it. I hate to fly but I didn't want to say anything because I thought maybe you might be afraid to fly too...and well, two scared people in the same seat...well that could have been a whole heap of trouble" I couldn't have agreed with her more. Maybe Tiffany was much smarter than I gave her credit.

Once off the plane I couldn’t find my glasses and had to dig deep in my purse to search. Apparently, I had taken them off at some point in the conversation, sucked in by Tiffany’s contagious and entertaining spirit. I was exhausted…but not so much in a bad way.

The thing is…she totally won me over…pulled me out of a sleepy and emotionally recovering funk from the night before…she poured a little sunshine over me before giving me a big ole hug and asking me to tell me grandparents “merry Christmas” for her.

Maybe I was a little bit disappointed that I would never bump into her again. I am always very aware of those clear moments when you already miss the person you will never see again and that you will always remember even though you are still in their presense...it's like a present-nostalgia. We parted ways with two very mutual smiles and a bit more Christmas spirit in our souls.

I want to be more like Tiffany.