.......i'm sorry...i've never heard of you

i only kissed you the first time because you looked like someone i used to love

isn't that messed up...i feel like i should feel guilty or embarrassed or ashamed...but i don't

you were better...smoother...had done this before...lots and lots of times before

i had never heard of you or your band...even though apparently everyone else has...and i say i'm sorry...and you say "i'm glad you don't know us"...and i never really know what THAT means...

because you won't be glad when i don't come to hear you sing because i'm at Blue moon dancing to Maria Carey or JT...but you say you like JT and the Reds and you love sports even though it doesn't look like you've exercised a day in your life...and your dark wardrobe and messy black hair would make you stand out at any sporting event...

you sang and sweat and spit and yelled into that microphone...and i wanted to be that microphone...ha

i don't even like your music... but i saw you caught up in your passion...and it was sexy...and dirty...in an underground dive bar rock n roll almost famous kinda way

black hair, pale, skinny, skin tight black jeans...dark red circles under your eyes from sleep deprivation or drugs or sickness or all three....but they saw me as beautiful...you liked my dress...

"baby girl" "darlin" pulled me close...you smelled like beer and tasted like cigarettes...your pale skinny chest and arms covered in trashy colored tattoos...and i liked it

seemed appropriate for you to be holding a bottle of jack and smoking a cigarette as you laid beside me...and it would have been a picture perfect album cover...oh...and you're band is making a video too?...congratulations

you talked about LA and New York...how you aren't meant for this place...and... i really do hope you get out of here...not necessarily because i think you or your band are gonna make it...but because you will never be happy here...you'll always be wanting more

money's not important to you...the "american way" is not important to you...as a matter of fact, you despise it...along with organized religion and war and George Bush... but you like to talk about all 3 when your drunk... and mostly i agree with you... and even if don't, i won't fight you because... you're so gentle when your feet are on the ground and not on stage...

and you don't even provoke me to fight because i know you won't...because you don't care who wins because...you already know what you believe and it's okay that i believe different

and you touch me so soft...sometimes...at the right times...and you stop when i ask you too...

and you think i have it so together...mostly because you dont...and you hate girls like me usually...but there's something about a women with an education and a job that won't let you do THAT....that didn't know your name when all of this town does...

and why do you always end up liking me...and me you...we are so different...

i hate your music...you hate mine...you won't dance...i can't stop...your atheist...i believe in Jesus...i drive a nice car...you drive...sometimes...never...you're house is trash and full of liquor bottles and empty cigarette cartons...you live in the ghetto...thats why you like staying over...you're always younger...barely holding a job...

and i can't get enough

what you can offer me is...the opposite of loneliness...but not companionship...it's different...it's fun and non-threatening...and...it's just...what it is i guess...but it's nice to have you around for right now...but not for long...you know that right??...

and what i could offer you...you wouldn't want...because music is your life...it keeps you a live...and music is what i listen to when i get ready for work or am driving in my car or when i want to dance

you come around every year...different face...different name...different band...

but the same guy...

and you stay a while...until both of us realize what a brilliant disaster this could turn into...


anyway...

i'm sure i'll bump into you this weekend...and the next...

and the next