i need air

lingering memories of burn and suffocation and "I'm done"
overshadowed by nostalgia... damn fucking nostalgia

echoing music of slow devastating heartache bouncing off ceilings... and dark rooms... and falling asleep in her clothes
swollen eyes and whimpers and hour long sniffing
and coffee coffee coffee

desiring only distraction but ending up alone again...drained...exhausted
and no one will know except for one...and these painted walls

because southern strength is driven from within...deep within
from held in...pent up anger and pride and proving to yourself that you don't need anyone...
not even your mama

so, dark will be the house... and light will be the outside
and no one will know except a chosen few...sisterhood

and when it's over...it will be forgotten...or at least not talked about or mentioned

because memories only reflect strength in these parts

until it's someone else's time to hurt...and then we reveal our "dark side"...our "weakness"...
only as a means to offer hope and healing to those we love that hurt the way we remember... but desperately want to forget

broken love

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i dreamed of you today

you screamed and yelled and cussed at me...in front of everyone

you were wearing green and black

and i had forgotten about you...didn't call you...and you had to take a cab

you tried to act okay at first

but you knew i didn't want you there

i hated you in my dream

i hated that i might become like you

i hated that you would treat me that way in front of my friends

i still haven't called you today...and i won't tomorrow

i'm still angry at you for what you did

still angry at you that my mind could subconsciously think you could do that and play out a story while my body...my mind...where too exhausted to stop it

you're messages won't affect me today...the more you call...the more i hate you

let me sleep in peace

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